spontaneous human combustion

by amanda allyn

you are so hot,

i fear you may spontaneously combust.

i cannot stop staring at you.

i would like to get to know you better,

but we mustn’t speak because then

you would like to get to know me better too,

and one thing would lead to another:

we would fall in love and spend countless hours together.

i would think about how hot you are

and one night when i am sleeping next to you

and you are holding me tightly

you will burst into flames.

i am a very sound sleeper so i would not wake up.

the next morning they would find piles of ashes

where our bodies once laid

and take pictures

and send them to the discovery channel.

we would be known as the “cinder couple,”

and our story would be featured on a

spontaneous human combustion program.

and that’s just not the way i want to make my mark on the world...

or die.